Many of us believe that holding an avoidant accountable means talking to them like they are an idiot and we are their parent. How many of us liked it when our parents, or anyone in authority held us accountable? No one! We revelled and worse, you ignore and avoided as much as we could. Yes- my anxious attached friends. Even you did that. Most people are online telling us that we need to hold avoidant attached persons accountable and that is true. However, what we think is "holding them accountable" is actually coming across to them as "control." Let's sort out this messy issue but highlight what we think is an ultimatum, what the avoidant hears and how we can do "accountability" right. I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode.