Today, I'm responding to a listener who’s doing the work to reconnect but still feels a lingering disconnect with his partner. I show how protective patterns keep couples stuck, then share a simple three-step way to interrupt the loop and get back to real closeness. • why a relationship can feel off even with effort • how protective patterns form through hurt and unmet needs • the “adaptive child” and losing strategies like defensiveness or retaliation • naming the pattern so we fight the loop, not each other • slowing down in real time to interrupt tension • translating criticism into the vulnerable need underneath • building lasting connection through awareness and shared language Go check out my 14-day Hotter Together challenge at: https://monicatanner.com/hotter. If this episode resonated with you, send it to your partner or set a time to listen to it together. I’d love to hear what you’ve decided to name your pattern, so send me an email or reach out on social.