In this episode, Dr. K shares his most controversial dating advice: stop dating the people you are attracted to. He explains that our "type" is often a biological mistake driven by psychological defense mechanisms, leading us into repetitive and painful relationship patterns. What to expect in this episode: The Myth of Romantic Instinct: Why the brain makes great calculations for survival but often fails miserably when choosing a partner based on "sparks". The Psychology of Projection: How the mind walls off parts of itself—like insecurity or guilt—and seeks out a "vessel" in a romantic partner to hold that energy. The "Nice Guy" Equation: A look at why people who view themselves as "good" are often attracted to "evil" or unavailable partners to house their own suppressed manipulative tendencies. The Fixer’s Trap: Why some people are only attracted to "broken" partners and why they may unconsciously sabotage the relationship once that person actually gets healthy. Incels and the Defense of Hopelessness: A deep dive into why some individuals convince themselves they are "pathetic" to protect against the vulnerability of having hope. The "Mean Girls" Model: An analysis of how social groups use a "punching bag" to offload their shared insecurities, a pattern that mirrors toxic romantic dynamics. Integrating the Shadow: Practical steps for identifying the qualities you are attracted to within yourself so you can choose a partner based on actual fit rather than projection. Dr. K's NEW Guide to Love, Sex, & Relationships is coming May 2026! Pre-order now: https://bit.ly/4dO3x0VHG Coaching: https://bit.ly/46bIkdo Dr. K's Guide to Mental Health: https://bit.ly/44z3SztHG Memberships: https://bit.ly/3TNoMVf Products & Services: https://bit.ly/44kz7x0 HealthyGamer.GG: https://bit.ly/3ZOopgQ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices