Love Beyond Monogamy with Brian Murphy

Season 3, Episode 4 — Brian Murphy is a theologian, coach, and co-host of the Queer Theology Podcast. His new book, Love Beyond Monogamy, isn't a how-to manual — it's a meditation on life itself. You're going to hear the excitement in my voice during this conversation, because Brian helps me realize his own premise: that polyamory, at its core, is an exercise in cultivating awe and wonder in your life. That's the energy that guides everything here. Brian builds a world that feels big and generous: best friends, husbands, lovers, self-inquiry, and faith all woven together. What the book taught me is that life is lived in relationships — and that you're allowed to keep exploring yourself, your relationship, your desires. Even while married. Brian's the kind of person you can meander with — no shame, no rigidity — just exploration for exploration's sake. Abundance mindset at its best. Both Jewish and Christian traditions show up in our conversation — offered like an à la carte menu. Not dogmatic. Just invitations. Pick what resonates. We also get into sacred texts — and Brian gives me the most gorgeous tee-up to talk about Queer as Folk, The Ethical Slut, and Star Trek's vision of utopia as texts that have genuinely guided people in how they love. Maybe Love Beyond Monogamy will join that list. Brian also offers some beautiful, practical wisdom: slutty hospitality, and using prayers of thanks — for friends and for hookups alike — as a grounding practice for building the life you actually want. This conversation made me deeply consider how all relationships end — either by breakup or by death — and somehow that realization made me less afraid. Less afraid of prenups. Less afraid of jealousy. Less afraid, period. Love Beyond Monogamy is out now. You can connect with Brian for coaching at BrianGerald.com and find him on Instagram at @thisisbgm. Feel it on your face, that’s how you know you’re doing it right. Turn towards the light and find your light. Get it get it get it.