Most parents are doing everything they can to raise good kids, and still feeling exhausted, reactive, and unsure if they’re actually helping in the long run. So much parenting advice is obsessed with today’s behavior: listening, sharing, cooperating, “being good.” But this episode zooms out and asks a much bigger question: Who are you raising your child to become? Kristin sits down with parenting researcher, Whole Parent founder, and author Jon Fogel to challenge one of the most deeply ingrained ideas in parenting: that control and obedience create resilient kids. Together, they unpack why obedience can look like a win in the short term, while quietly undermining confidence, resilience, and emotional health over time: and what actually builds those skills instead. They explore how everyday power struggles shape the adult your child will eventually become, why so many well-intentioned discipline strategies backfire, and how shifting from rules to values can completely change your home dynamic. This episode will: * Help you shift your focus from short-term obedience to long-term emotional health * Reframe discipline as skill-building, not behavior control * Clarify the difference between rules and values — and why values actually stick * Explain why yelling is a nervous system issue, not a discipline strategy * Give you a framework for parenting with respect, boundaries, and authority This conversation will change how you think about discipline, power, and success in parenting. It’s for parents who want to stop micromanaging behavior and start raising confident, capable adults, without losing boundaries or authority along the way. This episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct, or indirect financial interest in products, or services referred to in this episode. Experian - Get started with the Experian App now! Ka’Chava - Go to kachava.com and use code BLF. New customers get twenty dollars off an order of two bags or more, January 1st through the 31st! Peloton - Explore the new Peloton Cross Training Tread+ at onepeloton.com Skims - Shop our favorite bras and underwear at skims.com. #skimspartner Produced by Dear Media See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.